Okay, this week we're going to be deepening your piece from last week which was to notice your Drill Sgt. kicking in with some criticism of you and then ask yourself "What just happened? What did I just think, feel or experience that might have made me feel insecure or threatened in any way?"

If you didn't get around to trying that please make a commitment to one day this week that you will do just that and see what you come up with. The only way to achieve lasting recovery with your use of food to cope is to understand what it is that triggers you to do that.

We know the Drill Sgt. and his nasty way of communicating and "inspiring" you can trigger you to use food to cope. What I want to invite you to begin to do is to consistently look beneath the feedback of the Drill Sgt. to his intention and to the underlying need (real or perceived) that triggered him to kick in in the first place. That is where your healing really begins because that is where you are no longer stuck focussing on the symptom, you are now beginning to attend in earnest to the real issue(s) that keep you stuck using food to cope.

So, this week, notice the times the Drill Sgt. kicks in and ask yourself "What just happened in my thoughts, feelings or experience of the world to make me feel insecure or threatened." Keep a mental note, or better yet, write down the answers you get. You will begin to notice a pattern. A certain person or place or experience seems to trigger you to feel unsafe, insecure, or rejected. Notice this tendency in you to feel unsafe or unaccepted and then to judge yourself and use food to cope. Become aware of its existence and impact on your daily life and your life overall.

Next week we will exploring the underlying themes of security and approval and how they play out in your life. So, take the time this week to get clear with yourself about the people and places that trigger you to believe that you lack approval or safety. The more specifically you can apply these tools the more meaningful and lasting they will be in your daily life.

Have a great week and do give yourself the gift of consciousness. Change is possible, you only need to try something that actually works. And this does.

It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to. – Marilyn Ferguson

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. – Alan Cohen

We get so much great feedback and sharing from clients each week who are using our tools and seeing themselves actively change their use of food to cope that it seems a shame not to share some of that with all of you readers.

We can so often feel that we are alone on this journey and yet so many men and women share your experiences with food as a coping strategy. So, let's hear what some of our clients are experiencing on their path to a life without food and body image obsession!

Let's start with a great Drill Sgt. question from E. Hi M, I've been having success with the dialogue tool you gave us in the ezine. I seem to recognize easily when the d.s. is talking to me, have asked what is his intention, done the why is that important and then when I get to the end, I tell him the way he delivers his advice doesn't help me and can he tell me in a softer, more positive way. At that point, am I suppose to dialogue the nicer way? Because the dialogue stops. I feel good and a little release with the above, but have not been able to have the positive dialogue with him. It's almost like he's stumped. This Drill Sgt. piece is such a shock to me because sometimes the bottom line is I want to be loved. Well I couldn't have been more loved by the two parents I had. Just not sure where I got screwed up (and started needing food to cope!). ________________________________________ HI E. You know, that's great experience with the Drill Sgt. and you know it’s just perfect that there is nothing to say once you’ve done the work. That means you’ve finally had the last word and the drill sgt. is letting go for the moment and letting you, the healthy adult E. have the reins! Wahoooooo! There is no cause for concern there - I would only be concerned if he came back with a nasty comment, something undermining or derogatory and of course if that happened you’d just repeat the process.

Welcome and enjoy those moments where you have succeeded in quelling the drill sgt. and have taught him a new way of communicating with you – "say something nice or don’t say anything at all!" And now, whenever you hear your drill sgt. giving you a hard time about anything you can say “I understand that your intention is positive and you are only saying this because you want me to feel loved and it makes it very hard for me to feel good about myself when you speak to me that way. Would you be willing to say that a little differently?” And sweetie, we all want to be loved. It is a fundamental human need and just because you felt truly loved by your parents doesn’t mean you’re full! It doesn’t mean you’ve had enough love and so you should be fine now.

Your current life situation lacks a sense of safety and love and so of course you’re looking to be loved right now. Instead of focusing on the lack of love and the old bogus belief that you just need to be thinner and love will pop out of the woodwork, just keep coming back to your ability to truly be there for yourself and to truly love and accept yourself and you will continue to grow and flourish.

Hi, I have been following the Cedric centre's newsletters and as well have recieved some counselling from you in the past. I just wanted to give an email to say that the newsletters are incredible and each counsellor's insight into food addiction, body image/self esteem, and the Drill Sgt is truly profound in every issue. Natural eating seems like a no brainer concept however its quite radical to a (former) constant dieter like myself. I never thought I would ever be able to fix my weight problem or food obsession without a diet but I'm finding success with your program. Thank you for the newsletters and outreach, it is much appreciated. Anonymous

Thanks again for all that you do. I am so happy that I went (to the Phase I intensive workshop) and am finding out new things every day. I can't wait for the next session and love that you are an e-mail away to helping me with any problem I have. Of all the things I have done in my life, I am most proud of what I have done with you at your centre. Shannon Sallows

Thank you for the great feedback. We love hearing from you about your experience with letting go of food to cope. I know it means a great deal to those who are just beginning their recovery process. And it certainly means a great deal to all of us here at the centre. M

email: info@cedriccentre.com

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