Repeated patterns are a window to your needs. For every pattern you repeat, for example: overeating, purging, or restriction, there is a need which is being met within you. Your inability to change the undesirable pattern has nothing to do with lack of willpower or discipline. The pattern is merely a symptom of a deeper problem. If you direct your efforts only at attempting to eliminate the symptom without putting effort into understanding and dissolving its cause, you are setting yourself up for a very fatiguing and defeating battle.

Awareness is the first step in changing any behaviour. You must first become aware that you are doing something which is detrimental to your values and life plan. Resistance is often your immediate reaction to becoming aware of what you are doing and why. This makes perfect sense. You have lived your life with a certain set of behaviours and beliefs. Given this, change, even if desired on some level, often feels less like innovation and more like annihilation of your entire existence as you know it. You wonder what will be left of you, your relationships and the life you know, when you have made the changes necessary to free yourself of this debilitating behaviour. This really means: when you are fully aware of the underlying need that led you to execute this behaviour, will you still choose the people and things you have chosen thus far? From this perspective, change can look very scary and the outcome very lonely.

To read more of this article click here: The Process of Lasting Change

Today I'm choosing to share some passages from one of my favorite books of all time: How to live in the world and still be happy.
By Hugh Prather

I am sure you'll enjoy the book immensely if you choose to read it.

"Forgiveness is an often misused, misunderstood, and fearful concept. Frequently forgiveness is a type of arrogance. We look down in pity on those who "need" forgiving. Used in this way it is mere attack. To forgive you need do nothing. It is an act of the heart, not of the body. To forgive is merely to hand back whatever polluted gift our ego has just handed to us. It is to give up a narrow point of view and accept a broader, more relaxed perspective. It is to stop harboring unhappiness. Seen in this way, forgiveness is a restful process."

"In all endeavors, including repose, try hard and expect very little of yourself. The world attempts to live the opposite rule, and although it is always undergoing some promising new change, it has never once moved close to happiness. This need not be your lot, for when you focus on the means and not the end, on your effort and not its outcome, on the present and not the future, you quietly shift from slight outer accomplishments to immense inner gain."

This poem came from Beth. She found it on a site called : www.coping.org and recommends it highly.

To let go does not mean to stop caring.
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be overly protective.
It's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept reality.
To "let go" means to stop nagging, arguing and scolding,
and instead, search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not criticize and try to regulate another,
but to try to become the best me.
To "let go" is not to try to adjust everything to my desires,
Rather it is to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and love more.

Just to let you know that the February 16, 17, 18th intensive is postponed due to a scheduling conflict for the facilitators. All those who have registered have been contacted, and, any of you who were on the fence please note that the new workshop date is March 30th, 31st and April 1st.

If you'd like to attend please let us know so we reserve a space for you.