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The Genuine Article )
The CEDRIC Centre's Community e-Zine October 2, 2006
This Week:
  • New Groups at CEDRIC
  • A reflection on money
  • Intensive Workshop: November 10 - 12
  • Tools for Recovery: Book Excerpt

  • Dear Michelle,

    Hello out there in our CEDRIC Community. How was your week?

    You know that last week Karen and I were at the BC Women's show. Well one of the pieces of feedback we received a few times when we handed out a hard copy of the Genuine Article and told people it came out every week was "Is it this big every time?!"

    That made me think! "Is the newsletter too big and overwhelming for our readers? Does it work as it is?"

    So, I'm putting it out to you, our community of readers to let me know your thoughts on the length and relevancy of the material we offer. I'm happy to continue as is, and I'm happy to adjust to suit the majority.

    We get such great feedback every week about the content and the experiences that readers are having with the tools so I know it's being read. What I'm wondering is if you have any suggestions for how we can make it better. So, if you have a thought, now or at any point in the future, please do e-mail me @ mmorand@islandnet.com and I will take it into consideration.

    This week due to my energies being diverted to the completion of our new web page - which will absolutely, positively be on line this week! - I'm going to take an excerpt out of the upcoming book: Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is to share with you for tools for recovery.

    Have a great week and keep up your efforts towards a new way of being with food and body image. Those efforts will pay off and are so very worth it. Just trust that you can change and you will.

    bkmmay06
    Love Karen, Michelle and Beth

    New Groups at CEDRIC

    Just to let you know: We've got a new web group starting up in late October for clients who live elsewhere in the world and we've got both a Tuesday evening and Saturday morning group starting up at the same time.

    For more information on the web group or our in house groups contact info@cedriccentre.com.

    We'll be glad to answer any questions you might have.

    A reflection on money
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    I'm taking a brief sojourn here from our usual spiritually inspiring quotes to speak of an issue that is also near and dear to most of our clients: Money.

    Yes, the green stuff. Or if you live in Canada, the pink and blue and brown and gold and red and green stuff. Whatever the color, the truth is, in our society, having some extra money at the end of the day makes a difference to our overall level of stress.

    Now, studies show that having tonnes of money doesn't make anyone happier than a person with less, but we all know that when we don't have any money it's hard to feel safe and grounded; it's hard to think about anything other than what you don't have or can't buy; and we often feel constricted and resistant to sharing what we do have. When money is less than abundant for us we often begin to apply a scarcity mentality that can make it difficult to give anything to those in need, and it can make us envious and even bitter towards those who have more.

    None of these experiences is good for your overall state of being. In fact the stress and the envy, the tightness and scarcity mentality are all signs that we are in resistance to what is the truth of our existence at this very moment. The stress and powerlessness that you may feel about your financial situation is one of the primary reasons you may use food to cope in your life at this time. Since, my sole purpose professionally is about supporting you to have a life that is free from the use of food as a coping strategy, it seems clear that we need to address the issue of finances and take concrete steps to create a sense of security for you financially.

    There is no value to you in being resistant to what is your reality at this very moment. The more you fight against the acceptance of this moment the more energy you put into the current situation and you create more and more of the same. You can see this is true in your current relationship with food and body image.

    The Drill Sgt. and his all or nothing thinking believes that acceptance of this moment means that you roll over and die. He thinks that acceptance of the present means that you are in agreement with the present and that that will breed complacency.

    Not so, you can not start towards a new goal of any kind if you are not firmly grounded in where you are starting from. You must accept that this is your starting point; face it; acknowledge it; accept it and then ask yourself the life transforming question: What am I going to do about it?

    Where do you want to be? What do you want your life to look like financially? How long has that been your desire? What have you done, actively, to attain that goal? Be honest with yourself. If you would like your current fnancial picture to not be your future financial picture you have got to begin today to do something different than you are currently doing.

    To that end I strongly urge you to pick up a few books on the issue of money that will make a huge difference to your sense of empowerment to change your situation, regardless of your age.

    The first book is called: Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki. His book invites a new, innovative way of looking at money that makes the road to financial success and freedom so clear. His book is at most major outlets and can also be found on line at "www.richdad.com"

    The other is actually a number of different books with a similar theme by the same author: David Bach. He's got a great book called The Automatic Millionaire That's the place to start. Then he's got some more specific ones such as Start Late, Finish Rich and Smart Women Finish Rich, and others.

    Both of these authors are leaders in their fields and very innovative and successful in their approach. Their writing is common sense and easy to follow and will make a difference in your financial future and present.

    So if finances aren't what you would like and you feel stuck to create any change because you believe you have to have more money now in order to have more later, read these two authors and give yourself the gift of new information and a new perspective.

    Intensive Workshop: November 10 - 12

    Just a reminder that we've got our Phase I Weekend Intensive coming up November 10 - 12 (Friday - Sunday) from 10 - 6 each day.

    We are already half full so if you'd like to come do let us know that you're considering it. We'll have mindfulness practice, group process, education, practice time with your new tools and complete each day with a grounding and relaxing yoga session with Deb Moncur in our Movement Space!

    It truly is such a transformative experience and solidifies so many core principles of healing your use of food to cope.

    Phase I Intensive Weekend Workshop:

    Have you ever said: "I wish I could just take some concentrated time out of my day to day life and really focus on my recovery!" Well, are you truly ready to take some time just for you? Are you ready to stop treating the symptoms that arise from your use of food to cope and really, once and for all, make profound and lasting changes to the underlying problem?

    If you want a life that is free from food and body image focus and that supports you to be the very best you can be, this workshop is a must.

    The Phase 1 workshop will be offered the weekend of November 10 - 12. We will begin each morning at 10:00 and work together until 4:30 pm when we will transition to our movement space and our fabulous and gentle yoga instructor, Deb Moncur will lead us in a serious of gentle, relaxing stretches to ground us and rejuvenate us after a full day of processing. This truly is the best end to the day you could ask for!

    We will thoroughly explore key components of the recovery process such as basic needs, coping strategies, self-awareness and our resistance to it and our relationships with others and how they help and hinder our healing.

    This workshop is perfect for new clients and for those looking for a deepening of their understanding of the underlying principles of recovery. We welcome you to join us and watch yourself make a radical shift in your thoughts of yourself and of food!

    The cost of our Phase I Intensive Workshop is $535.00 Contact us for more information or to arrange payment options and accommodations.

    Here is some feedback from the participants who attended our last Phase I intensive. It will give you a sense of their experience of our time together.

    One part that I really enjoyed was that we all ate together. I've always wanted to eat with someone who knew what I was going through adn then help me get over the feelings I experienced. I also enjoyed that the focus of the workshop was not food! I am definitely going to recommend The CEDRIC Centre. Thanks for giving me insight to my coping strategy and how I may get better.

    The group was a good size and Michelle was easy to talk to and obviously knowledgeable. I can't wait to try the new strategies explained.

    I found exactly what I was looking for. Answers to nagging questions I could not or did not feel safe exploring on my own. I feel confident and happy that I now have new tools that I will use. They are no- nonsense, common sense ways to approach my eating and to understand why I do what I do. I also found the permission to be authentic, validated and trust myself deeper, to finally have a relationship with me.

    I gained awareness that issues I thought I had dealt with, weren't finished. I found the weekend to be a positive experience.

    I got a great reminder to spend more time in the present and to acknowledge my feelings, to name them and process them. A lot of tools to use. A lot of knowledge in the handouts. I thought the group format and concentrated period of time was an excellent way to do this counselling.

    I really enjoyed the weekend. The information and presentation is really great and I just want to run out and bring this enlightenment to everyone!

    Tools for Recovery: Book Excerpt
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    The Authentic Self

    Many of you have heard about the Authentic Self; you may even have done some Authentic Self work. Depending on your success with that in the past, your Drill Sgt. may have some judgment of anything that sounds like it might be a repeat of that "failed" attempt to heal. Keep in mind it is the Drill Sgt. and his "motivation through criticism" that would have undermined your attempts to connect with and nurture the Authentic Self in the past. So, if there is resistance to even acknowledging that you have an Authentic Self, you may ask the Drill Sgt. the same series of questions we ran through earlier: (1) "What is your intention in resisting this concept?" (2) "And what is important about that?" Soon you will come to understand that the Drill Sgt. means well and wants your happiness. You will have proven to your Nurturing Parent, your Authentic Self, and your Drill Sgt. that the message really is about your being successful in your bid to meet your needs for safety and security, love, acceptance, belongingness and, ultimately, esteem and self-actualization. Then you can say, "Well, let's try this new approach to our use of food to cope, because the old one isn't working all that well!" Seek to understand the intention of the Drill Sgt., and you will always come away feeling stronger, healthier, more integrated and knowing that the situation is not all-or-nothing; there are other ways of approaching the situation that will lead to success.

    The Authentic Self is the part of you that houses your feelings and your true essence. It is the real you. It is the one who is speaking when you are answering a question authentically about what you feel or what you need at any given time. It has the potential to be confident, courageous, secure and internally motivated. And it has the potential to be insecure, meek, fearful and a procrastinator. It all depends on how much trust your Authentic Self has in its worth and its right to have what it wants: to be peaceful and be happy. That's why the communication you offer yourself internally is so important. You alone have the power to instantly change your world, simply by changing the way you communicate with yourself. That is a lot of power, and it is definitely worth learning how to access and utilize it.

    Your Authentic Self is ready to rise up and realize its full potential, the moment the restraints of your current limiting thoughts and behaviours are removed. It knows exactly what it wants and how to go about getting that. It just needs the freedom to act. Right now, because of the Drill Sgt. and his reinforcement of old stories about your worth and deservedness, your Authentic Self is stuck feeling small and unworthy―fundamentally flawed. But trust me; she has not lost her sense of purpose.

    All that your Authentic Self really needs right now to realize her full potential is a Nurturing Adult presence to protect it from the verbal barrage of the Drill Sgt. and to attend to her needs and feelings. When you begin to consistently demonstrate to your Authentic Self that you are stepping in to care for and protect her in a loving way, you will begin to build a strong sense of trust between your Authentic Self and your Nurturing Self. The Drill Sgt. will become a part of that sense of trust as you consistently prove that his intention is positive and teach him how to support you. You will become an integrated, solid, secure individual through the process of demonstrating loving and caring for yourself. You will be living from a place of true Self- Esteem and be on your way to the realization of your life's purpose. I'd say that's worth a little conscious effort and some self-care. Wouldn't you?

    As we explore these concepts futher, you will discover many ways that you currently undermine your Authentic Self. You will learn numerous, different ways that you currently numb out to your Authentic Self and her feelings and needs. You will begin to experiment with new ways of perceiving yourself. And you will learn new, self-honoring ways of responding to yourself and others in present day circumstances that would otherwise overwhelm you and lead you to use food to cope.

    If you are feeling any concern, doubt, resistance, and so forth, right now (particularly to the concept of "self-love" and "self-care"), remember that is your Drill Sgt. who is desperate to maintain the status quo. He fears your contemplation of self-love because to him that's akin to complacency, and that means you are just going to give up and stop trying. From his perspective it is an excuse to be lazy, and you are not permitted to be lazy or to rest at all until you have met the Drill Sgt's criteria for acceptability. And that is only because he really does think he knows best. What he knows is "motivation through criticism" and not motivation through love and compassion. And in a nutshell, that is why you are where you are today.

    So gently invite him to allow for the possibility that there is another way to support you to be the best that you can be. Then ask him to journey with you and to support you as best he can. Reinforce that your intention is not to get rid of him or to tune him out. Your intention is to truly be the best that you can be. You will need his strength and support in order to do that, just not in his current critical and defeating way.

    We will be speaking a great deal in the chapters to come about authenticity and integrity, which really means connecting with and responding to your Authentic Self. Through our work together you will come to be very aware of what you are truly feeling and needing in any moment and how to go about responding in a life-enhancing way to those cues from your Authentic Self. This will create a strong, integrated whole you, who no longer feels any desire or need to use food to cope.

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